Unlearning

During any recovery you find new hurdles along the journey. Challenges that creep up worst than the last. For burnout one of the hardest parts after a glimpse light at the end of the tunnel is a another valley of darkness to crawl out of. These surprises were not events but unlearning what got you into the pit of despair in the first place. Here is the top six areas you may have to unlearn when recovering from burnout: 

1. Social expectations of what you SHOULD be doing. We learn by observation - watching others. At some point social norms and others expectations creep in. That is now the new standard. This is how people get defeated as it is not their own customized success journey. It is expectations they are striving for put there by someone else. Unlearning societal expectations is difficult because it surrounds you daily and on those low days you will give in to 'what others are doing'. 
2. Not celebrating wins. So many of us have progress if you can take a moment of where you have been and where you are today. HUGE gains! But we may feel guilty celebrity such wins because someone else has less or others have more. Comparison drives the party train and you will never get ahead. The only person you should be comparing yourself to is you yesterday, you last month, you last year. Celebrate...every...small...win. Those small wins build up to big transformation. 
3. Many high performers, caregivers and those in burnout are silent about their struggles not to burden anyone else. Processing conflict through silence is not processing at all. It's internalizing, burying it deep in the body. The body won't forget and it will eventually come up as chronic disease, aches/pains and gut issues. I know this and I still go silent when not knowing how to process an emotion, stressful situation or relationship conflict. Unlearning the silence response is an ongoing journey. Like anything, the more you are aware of this tendency, the faster to recognize when it happens and get ahead of it. 
4. Avoidance of issues through over-productivity. Being over-controlling and busy body in one area of your life may be a sign that you are avoiding actual conflict or turmoil in other parts. Have you ever sat still and were by yourself with no other stimulation. Yuck. That nasty stuff starts to creep up that you have been burying with busy work the last couple years. Make time to process such buried bones and you'll slowly unlearn such avoidance techniques. Sometimes you think you are 'healing' but you are just distracted. To truly move forward, allow this space for processing. 
5. Since people in burnout are usually serving many others in some capacity or another boundaries are gray. Letting others push your boundaries and take your precious time is hard to unlearn and you will feel selfish. But keep in mind on those days you feel you are not 'serving' that you cannot pour in someone else's cup if yours is empty. Think about how amazing you can serve others when your cup is full!
6. This brings us to the last but not least unlearning area. Not spending more time on others than yourself will take some effort. Start small and build up. Block off time in your calendar just for you, your hobbies, your social life, or just 'you time'. Know that it's not your job to heal all that enter your life. That you cannot be in charge of everyone's happiness. Disconnecting some of those threads will be challenging but you will eventually unlearn taking on everyone else's weighted backpack. 

Unlearning is exhausting on an already tiring journey. But the beautiful after wave of breaking these old patterns is you are truly stepping into your best self. One that is aware and moving from zombie mode back to energy for the long haul. 

Don't know how to find time to begin? Check out time management tools here: FREE Time Refresh Online Course