Mom Mode Madness

When you become a parent, everything changes. A shift happens because of constant requests, more obligations and little time and energy left to support selfcare. The title of this blog post is sufficient as I am a working Mom of three and not a Dad. So I won't be speaking on behalf of Dads today. Here are three ways to maintain your sanity through the madness of Momhood. 

RECOGNIZE A NEW LIFESTYLE IS REQUIRED

For a long time I tried to maintain the same routines as before and it was impossible to keep up with. You are no longer sleeping, decreased time to cook meals, little alone time to think and relationship strains. Doing anything or going anywhere is now a chore. You have to consider before leaving snacks, bottles, sippy cups, diaper bags and naptimes. Remember when you used to just grab your keys and go? Basic human needs are not being met such as sleep, good food fuel, relationship necessities, and general community. You are no longer #1 and therefore a slow process begins of losing your identity. 

RECOGNIZE NEW LIMITS

When you blow up at another person, it's a sure sign you didn't just hit your limit but flew right over it. The space for reset is gone. Being aware of how crucial it is to give yourself this space will be important. Constant stimulation can be overwhelming by back-to-back requests from kids, obligations of the household and whatever else comes your way that day. The body is strained in this state, on top of lack of sleep and good food fuel. So your limits will need to be lowered. This can be shown through behavior of more irritability and the little things start setting you off. What's these new limits and create a warning stop five steps ahead. Don't wait for the vacation or weekend, take a couple minutes per day to honor those warnings and reset. Daily sprinkles of selfcare moments will help you recharge instead of draining the battery all the way down. 

VOUCH FOR YOURSELF

Selfcare looks different for everyone. So explore different options and what resets you. This is not doing chores alone or laundry while watching a movie. True reset gives space for the body and mind to just 'be'. It could be as small as coffee or tea outside all the way to indulging in a hobby. Just note there will always be something on the to-do list and a house project so the time is now regardless of what is going on. If you truly want to vouch for yourself and be the best Mom, prioritize selfcare to be clear-headed, fun and energized. 

Another reason why this is important is you have little eyes watching you. Watching you blow up, stress and exhausted day in and day out. Show them what these reset moments can do to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Don't teach the burnout cycle all over again to the next generation. 

The loss of identity is real. Anyone who says you don't have to change after having kids must have a tribe around them helping out. No shame in that. Coming from a working Mom without a tribe, yes you do change. I think if you can give space to explore this new world you can actually become a better person. I used to run all over the place doing things, joining events, and worked a lot of hours. Now we just go hiking, play in the yard with neighbors or go up-north to a family cabin. I have found more peace in my current existence than the social butterfly I was before. It's not about what people want you to be, and more about stepping into your true identity and who you were meant to be. What brings YOU happiness and not others. 

Support for strained relationships can be found by a third party counselor or therapist. How to navigate this new world together instead of alone. If you are honest, open and willing you can't go wrong with some unbias questions to sort out the thoughts stirring in your brain. 

Mom mode is a lifestyle. It can be full of laughter and love or punishment and pain. It's interesting when people see me out with the three kids trying to maintain the family circus. They call me Wonder Woman. Here is something to ponder though, Wonder Woman doesn't have any kids. So don't try to be a superhero. Be you. Be the Mom those kids already love and adore.