Burnout Loss of Identity

Identity loss goes hand in hand with burnout. You get too far away from your center, your purpose and passion that you now stand in a confusing place. This is no different than people who lose their job, loss of a loved one or large life event such as empty nesters. So let me stop you for a moment and ask, have you taken a backseat as the main character in your story? If I would strip away your profession, business, family, distractions and obligations...do you know who you are?

How does this happen?

There are three areas over time that can contribute to loss of identity. 

1. Distractions: Short-term gains for long-term pains. Complete these actions often and you have a self-destructive habit. Common actions in this category are excessive smartphone use, too much TV/Streaming, and excuses. Excuses come in all sneaky forms and my favorite to identify during leadership coaching is the statements with 'but' in it. It's the brains way of stroking your ego to make a logical play on why you haven't done something. 

2. Obligations: These are more life situations than lifestyle such as above. These are duties and responsibilities such as caregiver, parent, job, etc. There is a lack of balance that happens over time. You continue to add more but rarely subtract. Eventually that teeter-totter will get too heavy and crash to the ground. On top of required tasks that need to be done, there are opportunities that constantly present itself. Some motivating to make us better and grow. Others to overwhelm. 

3. Limits and Overstimulation: Do you know your limits? Most of us do not recognize that adding additional obligations have shifted our limits. The cup has less room and spills over quicker. So we breach those limits and crash. We ignore the body signs screaming for a break, slow down, just 'be'.  Even though I know this, it is still hard to break old habits. You will have to be intentional on how to honor these limits by scheduling in daily rest/reset breaks and re-route the next day when you don't. If you are feeling the information in this blog post strongly, you already know how fast we can barrel roll down the hill back to burnout. Overstimulation is when we don't give our brain and body a break for true rest. We like to multi-task, listen to loud music in our ears, rest with a screen (TV/Phone). Your brain and body may need space and silence to reduce inputs. Give it space and watch how re-energized the next day can be. 

Why is identity important?

It affects all aspects of our life. How we see ourselves when alone or around other people. Our mind, spirit and body health. The perspective of our relationships and community.  Lets look now on how to discover and explore our identity. 

WRITE IT DOWN: Take a piece of scrap paper you have laying around. Write down how you would introduce yourself without including profession/job, parenting or any other obligations. Place it on the mirror or fridge to look at it often. Repeat it out loud for extra power. 

COMMIT: Make actions toward your identity a priority and schedule it in. This will protect it from others stealing time you have committed. Reflect daily or weekly to make sure you are staying on this journey and not letting it get pushed back by distractions. Observe hurdles and excuses that may be limiting you from completing. How can you re-route, prevent or address those to make sure action happens.

MOTIVATE: The big driver will be finding your WHY. There is many actions you can do in a week, but why is it important to work on supporting your identity. Again, do not use obligations such as family to drive momentum. That is a great motivational tool but in this case we want to surround the journey with identity support. My WHY for committing time to identity actions is because I will never go back to the darkness of burnout. I will never be in a place of not knowing who I am. 

EXPLORE: If you already feel lost and don't know where to begin, that is most of us on this journey. It's time to discovery and explore all different hobbies and activities. Which ones energize you, keep building. Let go of the actions that don't. Look for freebies, groups, community events and other options that don't require a big investment. It could be as easy as watching a documentary or grabbing a library book to see your interest level. Expand on the actions you enjoy by learning the history, how different cultures experience it, or master the craft. We go over this in more detail during week four of the Burnout Compass Program: Grab Your Compass